It was 3am. I was wrapping up a demo when a message from my old friend Adam popped up on my screen:

hugs
drunk- but wanted to let you know some real feels
im really proud of you from afar and i never tell you
life is too short for that
i hope one day we can hang out
but honestly so excited

Adam and I haven’t spent time together in years but we’ve known each other since 3rd grade. When I was a teenager, I admired Adam’s bravery to get on stage with his guitar. I wished I had the guts to sing songs for other people but I spent most of my time in the audience. My friend Adam lost his brother recently. He was a lover of music and a free spirit from what I could tell, though I had not seen him since we were children. I remembered that Adam adored his younger brother and I had sent him a note of condolence when I read that he passed away. I had not heard from Adam but didn’t take it at all personally. I just thought he was processing his brother’s death and knew he would say hello when the time was right. Adam and I talked about how he wanted me to continue making music because his brother would never get the chance. He told me how much he respected and liked my work and all the while, I wished that somehow I could just give him his brother back. I thought about the teenage me watching the teenage him on stage, back to back playing guitar with our friend Jack, and how hard I worked to be that person on stage making those sounds now. Adam encouraged me to never give up and I listened to him.

In the end, I can’t give Adam his brother back but I can keep making music. It’s a little easier knowing that I have an old friend on my side.

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